Ranking The Star Wars Films

May the 14th be with you! (Yeah….that definitely doesn’t sound as catchy) I originally wanted to write this post on Star Wars Day on May 4th, but I was too busy preparing my first anniversary dinner!

(Our rehearsal dinner cake)

As someone who got married on May 4th in small part because “it’s a date that I’ll never be able to forget”, it’s pretty clear that the Star Wars movies mean a lot to me. However, something that I’ve never done before is sat down and actually ranked all the live action movies and I wanted to change that.

I think it’s important to note that these are just my personal opinions with a little explanation why, and I know that they’re likely not the same as yours. There has been a lot of toxicity surrounding Star Wars movies, but there is no place for that here. We are each entitled to our own opinions when it comes to the Star Wars movies, so without further ado here are my rankings of all 11 live action movies starting with my least favorite.

11. Attack of the Clones: So why do I feel that Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars movie? It’s a disjointed, soulless movie with awful visual graphics and literally no redeeming qualities. Hayden Christensen is a pretty awful actor, but the bloated screenplay and dialogue also did him no favors on this one. They tried to do way too much here, but completely failed and wound up creating a boring movie that I usually skip through when re-watching Star Wars. (Note: The Clone Wars TV show did a much better job than this movie, and most of the prequels, because it takes about all seven seasons to explain what’s going on and to really build up some of these characters. I suggest watching it ASAP especially with some of the characters rumored to be returning in the Mandalorian season 2)

10. The Last Jedi: While Clones has no redeeming qualities, Last Jedi has only one. The Last Jedi is a bunch of bad stories that don’t fit into the Star Wars universe that came before it. There are many who feel it “destroyed the saga” and their feelings are valid. Besides the stupid and pointless stories (the casino world being the worst of these), it all comes down to the fact that the Luke Skywalker in Last Jedi is not the Luke Skywalker of all the previous star wars films. And no, it’s not part of his “character arc”, it destroyed and contradicted the entire Luke Skywalker character that came before this movie. Rian Johnson has made some good non Star Wars films, but he was in way over his head here. They should have just let J.J Abrams handle the entire new trilogy so we wouldn’t have gotten this mess…. The throne room fight scene was still pretty cool though, even if the end result of the fight was disappointing.

9. Phantom Menace: A lot of people like to put this film down as the worst Star Wars film of all-time, but I think those people are wrong. The battle between Maul & Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan is better than anything in the two previous mentioned movies, so that alone makes it the better film. Their lightsaber duel is one of the best in Star Wars history. Also, while the Phantom Menace still has a lot of flaws (Sorry Jar-Jar), it also sets up a pretty clever backstory regarding the slow turn of the democratic Old Republic into the Empire. Another reason why it’s better than the two above is because it’s also a very accessible entry for children into the Star Wars universe. It’s a great way to ease younger children into Star Wars, and many of a younger generation hold this movie in higher regard because it was their first Star Wars movie theater experience.

8. Revenge of the Sith: It’s the best of the prequel trilogy, but I’m not sure there’s ever been a lower bar. I really feel like this movie would have been higher on my list if they cast literally anyone else as Anakin Skywalker because Hayden’s acting continues to be a problem in this film as well. The second half of the movie with Mace Windu confronting Palpatine and the execution of Order 66, is much better than the first half of the film. I still enjoy the battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan, even if I don’t love the over-the-top CGI look of Mustafar. However, Darth Vader’s “NOOOO!” yelp at the end of the movie is a bad homage to Boris Karloff in Frankenstein and it has always hit my ears the wrong way.

7. The Rise of Skywalker: A lot happens in this movie, maybe too much, but in the end I feel like the Skywalker Saga ended pretty much how it had to. It reminds me a lot of the Game of Thrones final season, I don’t mind a majority of what actually happened, but boy does a lot of it feel rushed. This movie solidified my opinion that Kylo Ren is the most complete/best character in the history of the Star Wars universe, so hats off to Adam Driver for his performance. I also really enjoyed Babu Frik’s screen time and the jedi voices scene. However, I do wish that they would have chosen to keep Rey a “nobody”, and that story line change is a big reason this movie is ranked 7th. It’ll be interesting to see if (or rather when) Star Wars starts a new saga with some of these characters. I’m really OK waiting 15-20 years to revisit these characters be honest, since there’s so much other Star Wars universe to explore (both past and present).

6. Solo: The biggest issue with Solo, besides losing its directors during filming, was that this film was released after The Last Jedi and most people were suffering from Star Wars fatigue. Which is a real shame because I really do enjoy this movie. Props to Ron Howard for succeeding in a very difficult job as replacement director so late in the movie process. Empire Strikes Back writer Lawrence Kasdan and his son Jonathan wrote the movie, and they do a great job of explaining some little bits of Star Wars mythology along the way such as how Han and Chewbacca met. Donald Glover is fantastic, as always, as a young Lando and I’d still love to see a standalone Lando film at some point. The story is a fun, uncomplicated heist adventure with a great “wow” reveal ending that deserves more love than it’s gotten thus far.

5. Return of the Jedi: Return of the Jedi has one major flaw, but is still a great ending to the original trilogy. Jabba’s Palace and Endor are two of the coolest scenery in the history of Star Wars. I especially love the speeder scenes through the Endor forest. We also see Luke Skywalker finally transformed into the Jedi master that he was destined to be, and this film is Mark Hamill’s absolute best acting job as Luke. The redemption of Darth Vader saving his long lost son is about as good of an ending as you could have asked for. However, about that flaw: I don’t hate the Ewoks like some do, it’s just the Empire doesn’t look so scary when they’re defeated in part by a bunch of unsophisticated teddy bears. That flaw aside, Return of the Jedi is still a very fun and rewatchable ending to the original trilogy.

4: The Force Awakens: I don’t think anyone really knew what to expect from Episode 7, but I think it was a perfect start to the new trilogy. Yes, Director J.J Abrams pulled ideas from George Lucas and A New Hope, but that feeling of familiarity was sorely needed after the disastrous prequel trilogy. George Lucas took a lot of inspiration from old western and samurai movies (Shout out Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, one of the best movies ever made) in creating the original trilogy, so it only felt right that J.J. took from George Lucas, the creator of this wonderful universe, for his reboot. I absolutely loved seeing and hearing Han say, “Chewie we’re home” upon boarding the Falcon. My heart sunk when Kylo Ren killed his father. This movie hit all of my emotions and just the right nostalgia buttons. J.J. did a great job of introducing us to a lot of great new characters while weaving their stories into classic ones. The Force Awakens really makes me wish that J.J. could directed the entire new trilogy.

3. Rogue One: This may be a bit of a controversial pick because some people really dislike Rogue One, but not me. Yes Rogue One is a bleak, dark movie, but it is a fantastic story that is the perfect bridge between the old and new trilogies in both look and feel. If you’re familiar with Star Wars, then you knew going into this movie that in the end that evil was going to “win”. What also makes this movie so great is that even knowing the outcome before you head into it, it’s still a damn good movie to watch again and again. Darth Vader’s appearance at the end of the movie truly shows off the character’s strengths and darkness in ways sometimes better than the original trilogy. It’s a beautiful looking film as well, sans CGI Grand Moff Tarkin. This was the first non “episode” movie and it was really a nod to all the hardcore fans out there.

2. A New Hope: Listen, if you want to put A New Hope at number one, I’m fine with that because there’s no Empire without Hope. This is a great movie for many reasons, number one being it introduced all of us nerds to this universe that we love so much. Also, for a movie that’s over 40 years old and was made on a small budget, it still holds up really well. My favorite part? Mos Eisley Cantina, hands down! In 1995 they released a book titled “Tales fro Mos Eisley Cantina” which tells 16 stories of the random characters you spot in the Cantina and I read that book about 50 times because I loved the wild and weird Cantina that much! A lot also happens in this movie, but it never feels that way, which is a tip of the hat to the great dialogue and story being told. There are so many beautiful and iconic shots as well, like Luke staring at the two moons of Tatooine. A New Hope is as perfect as a first movie in a trilogy as it gets, I just like it’s sequel a little bit better.

1. The Empire Strikes Back: Many fans list Empire as the best Star Wars movie, and I obviously agree. It’s also one of the best sci-fi movies ever made, period. A New Hope set the table, but Empire takes the story to a much darker, more evil, and even more imaginative place. The stakes are higher, the characters are fleshed out more, and this is one of the rare cases in cinema history where a sequel does everything the first movie did just a little bit better. Plus, we get two of the most iconic pieces of dialogue in this movie, the first being “I love you” “I know”, and the second of course being “No, I am your father”. The good guys screw up again and again, so much so that at the end you’re left wondering how are they going to get themselves out of this mess, but that’s what makes the movie work so well. At the end of Empire, we’re not left celebrating another hero victory, but instead left wondering how exactly are all of these characters that we’ve grown to love so much going to get out of the messes they are in – if they’re even able to at all.

A Trip To The Edge Of The Galaxy & Back!

Before the country came to a screeching halt due to COVID-19, I was lucky enough to take a trip to Disney World with the main purpose being a visit to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge at MGM/Hollywood Studios. (It will always be MGM studios to me!)

Star Wars has always been a big part of my life. As a very young child, I was lucky to have all of the original toys passed down to me from my older brother. While I’m too young to have experienced the original release in theaters, I had the movies on VHS and vividly remember being dropped off at Lehigh Valley Mall movie theater at 11 years old to watch the 1997 re-releases.

As an adult, I still love the Star Wars movies, TV series, and comic books. I was also married on May 4th 2019 and to my surprise, had some Star Wars themes in my ceremony. (My mother-in-law and our priest had some very special Star Wars surprises for me that day!) So when Galaxy’s Edge was announced, I knew that once it was fully completed I had to take a trip to Disney World for it.

When the world returns to “normal”, is it worth visiting Galaxy’s Edge? The answer is a emphatic YES!

Galaxy’s Edge is located just beyond where Muppets 3D is found. Upon approach, you find a tunnel that transports you to from that part of the park to Batuu, the planet setting of Galaxy’s Edge. Disney spared no expense when it came to creating a totally different world. From the shops, to the food it is truly the complete Star Wars experience.

First Order and Resistance characters are a constant presence throughout the park and you never know who you might come across. While waiting to make a lightsaber (more on that later), Kylo Ren and his First Order guards approached and confronted me. I was surrounded by Kylo and his guards as they “interrogated” me in front of about 30/40 people. They were concerned about the transmitter (cell phone) I was holding and thought I may be a Resistance sympathizer. Now I know that not everyone is likely to experience this type of interaction first hand like I did, but it’s these kind of personal touches that make this the most immersive Star Wars experience in the world.

I would say that there are four “main” experiences on Batuu, with loads of other smaller things. The big four are: Smugglers Run, Rise of the Resistance, Savi’s Lightsaber Workshop, and Droid Depot. I participated in three of these: Smugglers, Resistance, and Savi’s (I chose building a lightsaber over a droid).

Savi’s Workshop is by appointment only, and they do book up weeks/months in advance. You show up to a secret location about 15 minutes before your appointment and you’re then shown the possible options in terms of building your saber. The groups are small and the workshop is a little tight (you can bring in one guest to watch you build), but the experience of constructing your own saber is pretty damn awesome. Seeing your saber light up for the first time and then holding it to the sky with the rest of your group will bring chills to any Star Wars fan.

The cost is $199, but it is well worth it for the experience alone. The lightsaber itself is a hefty, movie replica which looks incredible and makes a great addition to any Star Wars household. I personally chose a purple, Sith lightsaber. I also bought a red Kyber crystal from Dok-Ondar’s antiques (gift shop located next to Savi’s) which will allow me to change my saber to red whenever I choose to do so.

Smugglers Run is up next and it’s one of the two rides in Batuu. If you’ve ever wanted fly in the Millennium Falcon, then this ride is for you! Before you enter the cockpit (which seats six) you enter a larger waiting are that has the iconic holochess table (remember to always let the wookie win!). Also before you enter the ride, you’re given a role of either pilot, engineer, and gunner. While each of them are “equally important to the success of the mission”, pilot is clearly the job you want. We were gunners, but I was jealous of the pilots who were able to actually jump into hyperspace and steer the Falcon.

Regardless of your role, Smugglers Run will put a smile on any Star Wars fan’s face.

The second ride in Batuu is Rise of the Resistance, but to simply call it a “ride” is doing great injustice to the experience that Disney has created. This is the type of experience that Star Wars fans have dreamed of their entire lives, and unless you’re an extra in a movie, you will never feel more a part of the universe than you do here.

I don’t want to give away too much of this experience because I really do think that the less you know, the better. However, I will say that the whole experience happens in a few parts, each one larger in scale and more awe-inspiring than the next. This ride is the literal definition of jaw-dropping. (I also think it’s now my dream retirement job to work on this ride/in Galaxy’s Edge)

Disney deserves all the credit in the world for creating this experience which is unlike anything that we’ve ever seen before. Rise of the Resistance made me feel like I was experiencing Star Wars for the first time again and this ride will create tears of joy for fans of all ages.

We ended our experience in Batuu with an ice cold blue milk in front of the Falcon. As I write this, I’m reliving my experience all over again in my mind and it’s brought a much needed smile to my face. I know things are tough for most of us right now, but the thought of returning to Galaxy’s Edge in the future to experience it again with my nephew and brother for their first time keeps me going.

I do hope that all of the Star Wars fans out there who haven’t been lucky enough to take a trip to Batuu yet are able to use the thought of a future visit to help get them through this pandemic. It should be on the bucket list of all Star Wars fans for when things are safe again….. And trust me, it is even better than what I’ve described here.

Until then….. The Force will be with you. Always!